Fear Is A Funny Thing
Fear is kinda tricky.
It can make us do things that we’d rather not:
- Pass up on awesome experiences
- Eat too much
- Not eat enough
- Sweat excessively
- Lose sleep
And it can push us to do things we never thought we’d ever do.
I have two big fears in my life:
- The dark (seriously, I’m terrified)
- Failure
Being scared of the dark goes back to my childhood and is something I’m not sure I will ever conquer. Poor J always has to take the dogs out before we go to bed because I can’t stand to be outside with them by myself. When I leave for work in the morning I run to my car (instead of walking) and my heart is racing the entire 20 seconds it takes to get from the house to the car. I can only imagine what the neighbors think if they see me do this…….
But being scared of failing is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. And I know it has to do with the ING NYC Marathon. Failure can mean many things, but in regards to the race it means failing to make my friends and family proud. What if I have to walk? What if I cry? What if I plain out suck? What if, what if, what if?
I don’t doubt that I will finish the race, but I can pretty much guarantee that these 26.2 miles will be the hardest I’ve ever run. So instead of letting my fear of failing beat me, I’ve decided I’m going to try and beat it. I’m going to turn my attitude around and stop doubting myself. The people I care about most are the ones I’m scared of letting down. But I’m not sure why I feel that way when they’re the ones who are my biggest supporters. I’m pretty sure they will continue to love me no matter if I run the entire marathon or walk it. All they care about is if I’m happy.
So from here on out I’m going to have a positive attitude. Sure, I’m a little intimidated about running 20 miles this weekend, but I’m also excited. This is the first time during the past 8 weeks of training that I’ve been excited for my long run instead of scared. Improvement already? Let’s hope so!
What is your biggest fear?
Biggest fear for me is cancer. Cancer has stolen the lives of the majority of my deceased relatives, including my father. I fear that cancer will continue to wreak havoc on my family, but there is nothing I can really do about it, other than encourage my loved ones to make as many healthy decisions as possible to do their best to prevent the disease. But it still keeps me up some nights. I’m not afraid of failure anymore. While in college when my father’s health took a major turn for the worse, I got a D in one of my classes and an F in the other, coming from a girl who never got less than a B in anything. A part of me was really worried about how my parents would react because I had literally failed something. I had a heart to heart with my father and he asked he if I was enjoying college, having fun, being social and not focusing too much on the fact that he was dying. I told him that I was doing my best to have an enjoyable, memorable college experience, and he told me that was all that would matter in the end. Yes I still needed to work hard in my classes but that the classes I did miserable in, my heart wasn’t it in, and I needed to listen to my heart and what it was telling me and then follow it in terms of my major and what classes I needed to take. In the mean time, I needed to also continue to have FUN, because life was too short not to. After that experience and conversation with my father and dealing with my father passing away, I can honestly say I’m not scared of failure anymore. It is impossible to do well in everything we do, we aren’t always going to succeed. Failure is inevitable in some circumstances, and that’s okay. When we fail, we learn things about ourselves, perhaps valuable life lessons. Moral of the story? Try not to be too hard on yourself, be sure to have fun, and when you are running NYC, don’t stress about any negative things, soak up every single second. It truly is a chance in a lifetime!
hmm…scared of spiders…and elevators!!! i would much rather take the steps:)
My biggest fear is losing my parents, my go to peeps when things go really bad. So I try not to think about it. I can’t prevent things from happening, only pray I am strong enough to face the situation and do the right things if/when it does.
As for your marathon, I’m not sure there is any runner out there who doesn’t have the same fears as you. The fact that you even train so hard makes everyone proud. Whether you make it to the finish or not, your success is trying.
When you get all scared and anxious as the race approaches, start looking at the race as a training run. You’ll walk if you have to, you’ll make sure your pace is a comfortable pace because this is FUN! This isn’t a job. It’s your choice and your choice should be to make it fun so you want to do it again.
Relax. You’ll be just fine and totally NOT alone in your fears. Hold tight – Enjoy.