Fear Is A Funny Thing
Fear is kinda tricky.
It can make us do things that we’d rather not:
- Pass up on awesome experiences
- Eat too much
- Not eat enough
- Sweat excessively
- Lose sleep
And it can push us to do things we never thought we’d ever do.
I have two big fears in my life:
- The dark (seriously, I’m terrified)
Being scared of the dark goes back to my childhood and is something I’m not sure I will ever conquer. Poor J always has to take the dogs out before we go to bed because I can’t stand to be outside with them by myself. When I leave for work in the morning I run to my car (instead of walking) and my heart is racing the entire 20 seconds it takes to get from the house to the car. I can only imagine what the neighbors think if they see me do this…….
But being scared of failing is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. And I know it has to do with the ING NYC Marathon. Failure can mean many things, but in regards to the race it means failing to make my friends and family proud. What if I have to walk? What if I cry? What if I plain out suck? What if, what if, what if?
I don’t doubt that I will finish the race, but I can pretty much guarantee that these 26.2 miles will be the hardest I’ve ever run. So instead of letting my fear of failing beat me, I’ve decided I’m going to try and beat it. I’m going to turn my attitude around and stop doubting myself. The people I care about most are the ones I’m scared of letting down. But I’m not sure why I feel that way when they’re the ones who are my biggest supporters. I’m pretty sure they will continue to love me no matter if I run the entire marathon or walk it. All they care about is if I’m happy.
So from here on out I’m going to have a positive attitude. Sure, I’m a little intimidated about running 20 miles this weekend, but I’m also excited. This is the first time during the past 8 weeks of training that I’ve been excited for my long run instead of scared. Improvement already? Let’s hope so!
What is your biggest fear?